Rei's Birthday
by Lanthanon
Summary: Rei is celebrating her birthday. She learns how to bake, while the rest of the Children tries to figure out what to give to her. Why the sudden sense of disaster? *STORY FINISHED*
1. Asuka freaks out, Kaworu's back from the...

Author's Notes: Yes, it's official

Author's Notes: Yes, it's official. According to the latest EVA CD: Rei Ayanami's birthday, Rei's birthday is March 30, 2001 same as Megumi Hayashibara's(Rei's Japanese Seiyuu) birthday…the date, not the year.

Also inspired by Gainax's Rei Ayanami Home Growing Project J

Oh yeah, in the EVA radio play; Asuka didn't like Kaworu very much….

Rei Ayanami and the rest of the stuff I mentioned about belongs to their respective owners. I don't own them. If I did I'd probably be rich by now…..

Rei Bakes Cake!

It was an ordinary day. But not anymore (hwehwehwehwe). For some reason, Rei wasn't present in the NERV base. Asuka, Touji and Shinji were now holding the cards Misato gave to them soon after their synch test.

Misato: Today is Rei-chan's birthday.

Asuka: (freaked out) I didn't know Wonder Girl has a birthday!

Misato: Well, now you know.

Shinji: That's nice. It's about time they gave her a birthday. I mean, even Kaworu has a birthday but Rei hasn't got one.

Asuka: But isn't he dead?

Kaworu: (appears in the middle of nowhere) On the contrary. For the sake of the story, I'm alive and well.

Asuka: (really freaked out) Agh! It's you again! Agh! 

Kaworu: That from a girl who suggested we do sentai* shows….

Asuka: Put a sock in it, you weirdo!

Shinji: Anyway, let's decide on what we should give Rei for a gift.

Asuka: How about a personality?

Shinji: Asuka!

Asuka: Fine, fine! Well, we could give her case of Coke. She did drinks a lot.

Kaworu: We could also give her fresh bandages. I swear, she's as suicidal as Heero Yuy.

Shinji: Who?

Kaworu: (shrugging) Never mind….

Touji: We could also re-paint her room. She needs a good decorator.

Asuka: Yeah, right, like the time you painted Hikari's room. Remember that? Hikari was very upset about it. I wouldn't be surprised if that gave her a trauma for life.

Touji: Now wait a minute! Black is a good color!

Asuka: Of course it's a good color! But not the bed! And the sofa! And the TV! Now thanks to you she can't see anything in the middle of the night!

Shinji: Touji just painted Hikari's room a few days ago. And well, it didn't turn pretty.

Kaworu: Ahhh….

Misato: What are you guys still doing here??? You'll be late for the party! Go! Go! (she practically almost kicked them out of the establishment).

So the four Children decided to return home and get dressed as well as getting Rei a birthday present.

Meanwhile, in Rei's run-down apartment….

Rei was staring at the cooking bowl blankly, the rolling pin and the spatula. And then turned to look at Hikari

Rei: And what do I do with this?

Hikari: You put different ingredients for your cake. By the way, what flavor do you want your cake to be?

Rei: Flavor?

Hikari: You know….vanilla….or chocolate….

Rei: Chocolate?

Hikari: (sweatdrop) You know, this will take some work…

Rei: I agree….

Author's Notes: Yup, more to come. Rei bakes cake and we get to see what the characters will give her for her birthday. I hope you like the story so far and please review! :P

*sentai: A Japanese "real" time series aimed at otakus and kids….where the characters are required to wear "power suits" and drive their mecha that looked oddly like a guy in cardboard, if it could help, it is the American equivalent to Power Rangers. And yes, Asuka did suggested for them to do sentai shows in the radio play.


	2. Drinking beer is the best way to gather ...

By the time everyone else was dressed, and bought their own respective gifts, Rei had just finished with the cake and was now 

By the time everyone else was dressed, and bought their own respective gifts, Rei had just finished with the cake and was now putting it in the oven the NERV personnel had recently installed (having Gendo as the doting "father figure" has its advantages, ne?). She then sat on a chair near her new table with Hikari who was chopping up vegetables for stir-fry noodles.

Hikari: But I can't get over the fact that you wanted to cook for this day. You were absent most of the time, so you never get to attend any cooking classes, what made you want to cook for us?

As Hikari cheerfully continued with her conversation, Rei tried to remember what made her pick this unusual way to celebrate her birthday.

A few weeks ago…

Ritsuko: Misato! Just drop Rei off in her apartment! No dallying!

Misato: Hai, hai! (climbs in the car with Rei in the passenger seat). I swear, that woman has no sense of fun in her body….

Rei: …….

Misato: Speaking of which, we hardly spend time together ever since that ramen take-out, huh? (snaps her finger) So I'll just call Shin-chan and tell him I'd be late, and let's go barhopping!

Rei: Bar?

Rei always hear complaints from Doctor Akagi about the Captain's inability to act a bit decent in public. She was still holding her only can of beer while Misato was drinking hers like water. And the cans were growing…..Anyway, for some reason, Misato began to talk about the birthdays of the NERV staff. From Shinji to Shigeru…

Misato: By the way, Rei-chan, how come your birthday isn't registered in your personal files?

Rei: It's because it's restricted, sir.

Misato: (sweatdrop) We're not working anymore, so you can drop the formalities, please.

Rei: Hai.

Misato: But since you're having a growing circle of friends, wouldn't it be nice to throw a birthday and two to celebrate your birth?

Rei: (looking at her can, confused) I…..

Misato: Well, I'm sure you kept your salary (it isn't much but it IS money) so I'm sure it won't be any problem, right?

Rei: Hai. Demo….

Misato: Well, that's it! I order you to tell me your birthday!

Rei: March 30.

Misato: Huh?

Rei: I was born in March 30.

Misato: (giggles) Really? The way you talk and how Ritsuko goes around saying it's classified, I was beginning to think you're a clone or something. 

Rei: …….

Misato: This week? This Saturday?

Rei: (beginning to sense that the Captain's liquor intake was beginning to take its toll) Er….

Misato: Gret, I sink I'll mek sam gud cards fer everyone to go to…can't wait…and Rei…

Rei: Hai.

Misato: Can you drive the car? I sink I had a little too much…

By the time Rei called at the Captain's "charge" and drove the car to Misato's apartment, it was a little after midnight. She found Asuka and Shinji were waiting patiently at the pavement.

Shinji: Ayanami? I didn't know you could drive a car.

Asuka: Baka! If you can drive an EVA, a car doesn't seem so scary anymore. (Looks at the drunk Misato). Sloppy, how on Earth did she decided to be a guardian is beyond me. (opens the door) Will you guys help me carry her?

Shinji: Anyway, thanks for bringing Misato home.

Rei: Ikari-kun.

Shinji: Yes?

Rei: Is having a birthday a good thing?

Shinji: Well…uh…

Asuka: (can't help but overhearing the whole thing) What are you, a senile? Of COURSE it's a good thing. If not for the fact that you celebrate it for yourself, at least do it for the gifts. (lugging Misato's unconscious form) Shinji, come help me or I swear to you you're gonna regret it!

Shinji: Well, it's late anyway, Ayanami, want to spend the night with us?

Rei: No. I think I'll head for home. We got NERV secret services, remember?

Shinji: Oh, so THOSE were what I saw every time I go to school…

Asuka: SHINJI!!!!

Shinji: (sweatdrop) OK, OK. Actually, we celebrated my birthday too, right? It was fun, and I'd enjoyed it. (he paused) I think you're a nice girl to have your own birthday, Ayanami.

Asuka: HEY! What's that line for, baka?! Will this lead to another Rei x Shinji story again?! I thought this category is under humor!

As Shinji faced the redhead's wrath, Rei took a slow walk back to her apartment, thinking over what Shinji just said. It would be nice to celebrate her birthday, for once. She then decided that tomorrow, she will have a little talk with the Commander.

Hikari: Er, Rei-chan? Ayanami?

Rei: ….? (a rarity, since Rei was always attentive, it was a surprise for her to daydream)

Hikari: Just what's the flavor you've put in your cake anyway, you've never told me…

Rei: (giving Hikari her mysterious smile) You'll see. When you've eaten it.

Hikari just gave a shrug, she sort of taught Rei the steps of making it but trusted her enough for the albino to choose her flavor. Whatever it is, the cake probably went well…and knowing Rei's record, she has an excellent memory….

There was a doorbell ringing outside, and Rei nodded to Hikari that she can open the door for the guests. As the class rep headed to that direction, Rei wondered if they were going to like the cake….

Author's Notes:

Part 3! Gift Giving! Truth or Dare Game and eating the Cake! Yes, I actually try to put a "rational" reason why Rei would celebrate her birthday out of the blue. I don't even think it (this chapter) was funny….

Asuka: (bright red aura, cracking her knuckles) You were making a Rei x Shinji fic back there, aren't you?

Me: (sweatdrop) O-of course not! I also like you too as a character! No need to be so jealous! You and Shinji make such a cute pair. What makes you think I'd….

Shinji: Jealous? Really, Asuka?! You LIKE me?!

Asuka: (looks like she'd explode like a volcano) Gah…urk….Anta….BAKAS!!!! (Hits the author and Shinji with a 2x4 object)

Duo Maxwell: OW!

Quatre Winner: What did we do this time?!?

Shinji: Quick!! Do something, Author-san!!!

Me: (Grabs the keyboard) Agh! Chapter 3! Chapter 3!!!


	3. Spinning the bottle

Me: Arrrrghhh, after months of having writer's block, I have finally returned to finish my fic and conclude what happens to the EVA cast!

SD Garrod the Muse: Actually, the author got herself hospitalized for a few months after Asuka kicked her butt.

Me: Teme! I TOLD you not to blow it!!!

-----

When Hikari opened the door of Rei's apartment…

Everyone outside: Happy birthday! (offering their wrapped packages)

Hikari: …

Everyone: … (sweatdrop)

Kensuke: GASP!!! Oh my gawd! Rei looks like Hikari! 

Asuka: That's because she IS Hikari, you idiot!

Hikari: Rei-san asked me to teach her how to cook yesterday. So I came here earlier to help.

Touji: Ahhhhhh, you're always like this, Class Rep… Helping everyone. How come you never even help me with the homework?

Hikari: You do your OWN homework, Suzahara, not giving it to me and say "finish it, will ya?" while you run off and play basketball. You didn't even gave me a proper explanation personally, you just left a message in a post it!

Touji: Come on, I really didn't run off for basketball. It's something more important than that!

Kensuke: That's right! He run off to watch porn with me in my place and oooffff…!! (doubles over in pain as Touji gave him a good punch on the stomach, his face reddening)

Touji: You're not helping me at all, did you know that?

Asuka: Ooooooooohhh~ you're so much like newly wed couples.

Hikari and Touji: (stops their argument argument and starts blushing like crazy) ASUKA!

Kensuke: (Recovering quickly) Come to think of it, it does seems to lead to that quite recently. Isn't it, Ikari?

Shinji: (sweatdrop) Maaa…

Touji: What are you two implying, you perverts! (Goes around chasing his two companions)

Shinji: You're the most perverted one! I wasn't even thinking anything!!

Kensuke: Hahahah! Touji's embarrassed! And to think he's undaunted when he pulled his pants down right in front of Asuka!

Asuka: (begins cracking her knuckles. Uh-oh.) You better watch that next time, you!

Touji: Shaddup, Kensuke!

Kaworu: (sweatdrop) And to think I sacrificed my life for these people…

-----

Everyone enters the apartment. To Shinji and Touji's surprise, the apartment was now well lit and clean. The floor wasn't littered with paper and that it had been recently waxed. The plastic bag that used to be full of empty cans was gone. Shinji was relieved that Rei took down her bras and socks and hid them somewhere. One thing was missing: Rei's bed, it was nowhere to be found, in the center of the room was now a low table. And they could see Rei busy at a newly installed oven in the spot where the bed was once been.

Shinji: I guess you helped here too, huh?

Hikari: Well, no, actually. Rei cleaned this place way before I even came.  She's pretty good with that. Rei-san! Your visitors are here!

Rei: (Looks at the rest of the gang, smiling slightly.) The cake should be finished in a few minutes, let's say we pass time before we start?

Kensuke: OK! (Brings out the tape recorder, sweeping dramatically over the apartment's walls) Here I record the events transpired in this special occasion for our very special lady. And… (Looks over his shoulder where everyone, Rei included, is eating his horde of potato chips) HEY! Don't eat without me!

Kaworu: This is very good. My superior officers never even feed me this kind of food.

Rei: (looks a bit relieved, albeit puzzled, at the potato chip) At least it's not meat.

Shinji: Ayanami, I heard that you just started baking recently. How are you doing so far?

Rei: (blushing) I'm doing quite well. Thank you.

Asuka: (to herself: Uh-oh, this is not good) Alright! To pass time I now introduce… Spin the bottle! 

Shinji: (looks at Asuka as though she sprouted corn in the ears) Spin the bottle? Doesn't that sound a bit… um… weird?

Asuka: Or pin a tail on a Shinji. Wanna try that? (evil grin)

Shinji: Ok, let's go with the bottle!

Touji: Yes, let's! Let's!

Asuka: Good boy. 

And so spinning the bottle they did. After finalizing the rules of the game & determining the first bottle spinner by drawing straws (which Kensuke became the winner), the first person that was victimized by it was Shinji.

Kensuke: AHA! Shinji, truth or dare?

Shinji: Er… dare?

Kensuke: Alright! I dare you to write a lemon with your favorite character! (*)

Asuka & Hikari: HEY!

Hikari: I thought we agreed we won't do anything graphic (or else this story would go PG-13)!

Kensuke: Well, we basically agreed we won't go run around naked in the halls or do strip tease in dares. We're just going to test how imaginative Shinji is.

Asuka: Shinji is a pervert! How could you say he's imaginative?!

Shinji: (Busy with a pen and pencil, completely oblivious to the ensuing chaos) 

Touji: Why? Are you gonna be upset if he writes something about you?

Asuka: Do you want to die here NOW, Suzahara? (**)

Shinji: (very happy) I'm finished!

Kensuke and Touji leaned over Shinji's shoulder gleefully. And in big capital letters it was written in the paper:

_Pen-Pen was drinking lemon juice in the hot summer afternoon for Misato-san had just emptied the beer fridge quite recently. As soon as he finished his glass, Pen-Pen decided to spend the rest of his day in his room, and I never get to see him tonight when I served dinner. Fish, which was his favorite. Meanwhile, Misato-san was wondering why her pitcher of lemon juice was empty, since it was a gift she's going to give to Ritsuko-san._

Asuka and Hikari burst out laughing while Rei looked at them as if they got insane. Kaworu bit back a smile as he continued to chew his potato chip thoughtfully. Touji and Kensuke looked at Shinji in disgust.

Shinji: (sweatdrop) Wh… what?

Kensuke: You really are a kid.

Touji: You're not off the hook! Now you have to do the dare all over again!

Kaworu: Well technically speaking, it IS a lemon story with his favorite character. You didn't specify what kind of lemon he should be writing.

Shinji: (surprised) There's another kind?

Kaworu: Yes. But I'm leaving it to you to find out for yourself.

Rei: I think Ikari-kun fulfilled the required dare.

Kensuke: Hey, now that's not fair! Come on you two! (Looks at Asuka and Hikari)

Asuka: Forget it! Besides, that's the dumbest dare you two could ever think of. (Hikari nodded with approval)

Touji: Let's drop it, Kesnsuke. We're obviously outnumbered.

Kensuke complied and spun the bottle again. This time the bottle pointed at Hikari. Hikari, who never trusted the two boys, decided that she should take her chances with the truth.

Touji: Tell us… whom you liked most in this room!

Hikari: Wh…wh… WHAT?!

Kensuke: Come on, you just have to blurt out a name. Oh by the way, Asuka's not included.

Asuka: WHAT did you just say?! What are you implying?!

Kensuke: I meant because you two are friends! 

Shinji: Anyway, Hikari, I know it's as easy as the lemon dare. 

Hikari: (looks shyly at Touji and blushing) But… but…

Touji: Come on, now, Class Rep. It can't be THAT bad. Just tell the name to get it over with.

Hikari looks at Asuka for aid, but the redhead was waving her hands helplessly, regretting that she even suggested this game. Suddenly Rei stood up, much to her friends' surprise. 

Rei: The cake is ready.

Touji: Huh? I didn't realize that the game took us that long.

Asuka: It's about time, Wonder Girl! 

Rei: Wait for a minute. (went to the oven)

A few moments later the cake was sitting on the low table.  Shinji and Asuka wondered a bit regarding Rei's skill in baking, but they saw no obvious error in her work so far.

Asuka: (to herself) I guess we could only tell by eating it.

Kensuke: Hmmm. Smells great!

Hikari: (noticing the white icing) Is it vanilla?

Rei: Yes. In a way. (began slicing the cake for all of them)

As everyone had their slice. Rei looked at Shinji at smiled.

Rei: You're right, Ikari. It's fun… celebrating my birthday.

Shinji: See? I told you. We can do this again next year. (As he bit his cake, the rest followed suit)

Everyone: ……………

Kaworu: (removes fork from his mouth calmly) Well… this taste is certainly interesting.

Everyone: GAAAAAAAAHHHHH (jumped from their seats and ran to the sink for water as if their lives depended on it)!!!!!!!

Kaworu: Exactly what is the flavor of the cake?

Rei: Garlic. The book said that it  goes well with it.

Kaworu: Ayanami. It goes well with bread. Not cake.

Rei: (ponders that for a minute) … Oh.

A few hours later, they eventually decided to have take-out pizzas instead. And Shinji, Touji and Kensuke decided to help to clean up the party by taking out the wrappers and the used cups outside. Kaworu oddly disappeared, most likely humming somewhere else they didn't know.

Asuka: By the way, Wonder Girl, you have a very good timing with the truth and dare game.

Rei: I noticed your friend was very awkward with the question. So I took the initiative and intervene.

Hikari: (began blushing again) You may not notice it but you're a lifesaver.

Asuka: That's true. You may be annoying, but thanks… really.

Rei: This is the first thing we agreed on something.

Asuka: Yeah, I noticed. Scary isn't it?

Much later, as everyone is heading to his or her respective homes…

Shinji: Well, that was fun.

Asuka: It's OK, for once. 

Shinji: Umm… Asuka? Thanks for being civil about all of this…

Asuka: (looks at Shinji with an annoyed expression) And that meaning?

Shinji: Well, Ayanami is my good friend. And I noticed she was very happy. I want to thank you for making that happen.

Asuka: (blushing) I'm not doing this for you, for crying out loud, don't be so sappy on me all of the sudden. Got it?!

Shinji: Well, I…

Asuka: Hey, isn't that Misato?

Sure enough, their "parent" was on the street of their building waiting for them.

Misato: There you are, I was beginning to think you two eloped or something.

Asuka: (looks at Shinji with a raised eyebrow) Now that's an unlikely hypothesis. 

Shinji: Har har. (looks back to Misto) By the way, Misato-san, what are you doing here outside all alone?

Asuka: If it's because you're worried about us, right?… I'm impressed. You're really doing your responsibilty seriously, huh?

Misato: Well, it IS because I got worried for you two and I… I… (to Asuka and Shinji's surprise Misato began bawling) I LEFT MY KEYS IN THE BASE AND I CAN'T GET IN THE APARTMENT, I JUST REALIZED IT AFTER I GOT MYSELF DRUNK AT THE PUB, I ALSO LOST MY WALLET THERE!!!

Asuka: Shhhheeezzz. Just when I was beginning to respect her…and she's our guardian? I don't seem to remember why is that in the first place…

Shinji simply shrugged and helped Asuka with the already wobbly Misato back home. It seems that life has finally returned back to normal.

END

(*) Lemon is a fanfic phrase that makes two characters (sometimes three or four, depending on the author) in the story to get in on each other. Its "lighter" version is called lime. But then I guess most fanfic authors and readers should know that by now, and doesn't deserved to be explained. I'm not a big fan of that genre though.

(**) Despite that they genuinely hate each other's guts, Asuka was very concerned whenever one of Shinji's friends got hurt (as seen in the Super Robot Wars Alpha game). She was as upset as Shinji was when Touji got himself wounded in the EVA 03 mishap. 


End file.
